Following my good friend mark's example I will now lay out my own funeral plans.
most important is that I want my body to be strapped to a giant cross shaped rocket. The cross shaped rocket, or the SSS Felix (Solar Sword of Salvation), will by lined with billion candle strobe lights. Within a week after I pass I will be strapped to the SSS Felix and shot into space. Not too far into space, just far enough to stay in orbit for a couple generations of Felix's. Also close enough so that after a couple generations the earth's gravity sucks me back in and I finally go out as a meteor.
This way I can orbit the earth a giant blinking cross. My relatives can just tell the young kids "see grandpa's not dead his on a mission trip to final frontier". I may even get some sort of crazy adventist psycho hippies to predict Armageddon according to my re-entry date.
If I have any money left it's to go into a fund to create brewing company that brews great beer and prints gospel tracts on all of it's labels.
that's all I come up with so far, but I think I have plenty more time to think on it. hope everyone caught the sarcasm.
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4 comments:
I heard this idea before reading your blog, but it is similar and more probable
I want to be creamated and my ashes made into the lining of fireworks. I would like these to be fired off as the finalleee (sp?) to my funeral PARTY.
Also, I want very young yet legal girls to dance provocatively so as to contrast youth and old age.
I like your funeral ideas.
I'm trying to think what I'd like at my funeral. I'd like to have all my grandkids there if I have any of those and I would be pleased if there were at least a couple of strangers and at least one large animal, like a donkey. That way, nobody would get too sad because they'd see the donkey and just have to hold back their giggles a bit. I would like for the minister to raise up a shiner bock and give me a toast and then hand out brews to the crowd (if people look really really sad, then he should try to make the donkey drink a shiner).
As for where I'd like to be left, I used to think I'd like to float the guadalupe river so that when my family wanted to remember me they could have a good old time doing that, but the redneck factor is so high these days in those parts that maybe I haven't yet found a good place to deposit my ashes.
Another thought,
Remember a couple of years ago, there was some aggie who kicked the bucket (by the way, what the hell does that expression mean?) and he was a regular at the chicken. The family had the funeral at the church and then the reception with open bar and dominoes at the chicken. Awesome right?
hows your face?
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