Stormy Seas

“Friggin write something new already!” AAAAAlllllrrrrriiiiiggggghhhhht! Fine!

Let me set the stage first. . .

Not too long ago I was asked to step down from a ministry that I had been involved in for almost eight years. I was served a beautiful ultimatum at a cozy Whataburger at ten thirty in the PM.

1. You (me) will have to abide by our alcohol tobacco policy. (I had no problem with abiding by the policy I just didn’t like the policy, and thought it should be done away with)
2. You will have to join and attend a local church and encourage your ministerial constituents to join you. (I haven’t gone to Sunday morning service in a little over seven months)
3. You can not talk about what you think you have seen the Holy Spirit do or what you think about the Holy Spirit to your fellow ministers or your ministerial constituents. (I believe in, have seen, and experienced the baptism of the Holy Spirit)
4. You can not talk about the bible study you attend with your fellow ministers or your ministerial constituents. (It’s just a bible study)

I respectfully said that I could not do that, so now I am no longer in that ministry. I was really upset, and would have been really mad if the Lord had not specifically told me (in a dream amongst other ways) that He was doing all of this. So my ministry team is now one member short but there are ten ministers left on the team, some of whom are seasoned vets. So I wasn’t real worried about them. Oh but then-THEN teams were picked and the name calling began. . .

Let me tell you a story. . .

For weeks after this happened I had to tell a great number of people the same story over and over again. I was alright with that, people wanted to know what happened. Through all of the story telling I wasn’t hostile at all towards the organization. However in telling the story I often had to expound upon what I believe about the Holy Spirit. One of the other ministers asked me why I wasn’t around anymore, so I told her. She wanted scripture concerning what I had talked about, so I sent it to her. She then asked her team leader, who is our area intern, what he thought about it, he then called me…pissed. He said, “Out of respect for me can you please stay away from my ministry team and anyone who goes to the high school we do ministry at? I don’t want you to tear our team apart like you did yours. Thanks.” He woke me up with this so at first I just said yeah sure and went back to sleep. But upon further consideration I thought “I’m not gonna do that. That’s just silly.” So I invited him to lunch to talk about it. We ate at one of the local Christian delis, McAlister’s. I thought certainly at such a Christian venue we could work things out. By the end of the lunch he had laid his foundation.

1. My theology was completely off and I needed to get it straight, but not to worry, he had plenty of books for me to read.
2. Certain books are not to be taken as foundational for how we live our lives. Acts for example is merely a historical book. Many OT books were put in this category.
3. I was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and he as a shepherd was merely protecting his flock. But not being too stringent he said he didn’t care who I talked to outside of his particular flock, or if I talked with the ministry team he currently runs after he left.
4. He still loves me
5. If I didn’t get my theology right soon I would live a life of fallacy
6. It is foolish to base your faith on experience

I think he was going for tough love?

Also living in Fort College Station Christian Strong Hold is a certain Baptist preacher who preached against our bible study. He said that it was a secret bible study that taught a false gospel, one that needed two baptisms. Well I found out and decided to talk to him about it. I had two goals:

1. I was going to invite him and explain that it is not a secret bible study.
2. To explain that we do not believe the baptism of the spirit has anything to do with salvation

So, my friend and I went to his office, and I stated my two points. He then reprimanded us for not being involved in the local body (a Sunday morning church), told us we had been led astray, that we believed a false gospel, and that as far as what we believed about the Holy Spirit it is heretical and “that (we) were dancing with demons”. That’s a big accusation coming from a Baptist preacher, not only are we holding regular company with demons but dancing with them as well. Good thing he didn’t know I like to have a beer now and again. That would have been the Baptist Triple Sin Trifecta, I would have been condemned to hell right there in his office. Whew, (wipe sweat from brow) that was close.

In light of these events let me paint of picture. . .

- The sea was reeling. Deceptively large waves were shouting their objections as far as the eye could see. Lying on shore was a battered naked man recently thrown forth from a mind bending turmoil that had so long tossed him about. As he came to, he crawled to a welcoming campfire and for what was almost a first, rested. Looking around taking in his surroundings he spotted the author of his rescue. He was master of the shore and now his companion. They both smiled, one with appreciation the other with welcome.

Breakfast was soon being prepared. A great, kosher, breakfast feast: fish, eggs, and OJ. Meanwhile the sea raged on, the thunderclouds low over the water. The two companions sat at the edge of the stormy sea braced against its pull. The shallows looked calm and inviting, yet underneath lay a convincing under tow always headed out to sea. Taking joy in each others presence they ate, and were satisfied.

A voice, struggling through the den of the waves, reached the rescued man, “You fool, what where you thinking! Can you not see that you have been led astray? When I saw you first you were well placed and moving up in rank according to the sea, your head above water and your station secure. I looked to you as an example of how to live on the waves and steer a vessel. Now you have gone astray and been cast into the sea. I no longer see you clearly or consistently. I hear your voice but you are no longer visible through the swells of the sea.”

The man who had been brought out of the sea called back to the man at sea. “Please calm yourself and listen. When we were at sea together we often spoke of a rescuer who would not only bring us to shore but into the mountains, and then into the very heavens themselves. We were told of him by our companions at sea, Captains and builders of vessels. Some of whom were the very authors and rulers of the waves. They encouraged us to listen to the rescuers voice, as well as pay attention to the waves so as not be capsized, but the waves are loud and often claim His voice as their own. I heard his voice and followed it despite the waves, and now I am on shore with the very man himself.”

The man at sea skillfully steered his boat among the swells while calling back, “Deceiver! How do you ignore the sea? It gives us our food and keeps our vessel afloat. You encourage us to risk starvation and isolation and to give up what we know best of how to live. You want us to chance the sea for a shore we can not see and of which the waves tell us differently. You abandon ship and your crew and encourage us to do the same? You ignored the swells and tides and their authority to venture where the waves break and crash to carry out their punishment, and you ask us to follow you!? The waves scream testimony against you as well as our captains, yet you say the rescuer instructed you. You lie and speak falsely.”

The man on shore responded, “The waves are not sure or foundational. They often crash into each other. The have capsized vessels, drowned our companions, and fight each other with great opposing words all in the name of the rescuer. Yet, if you listen to the rescuers voice only, he will not let you drown. By his very nature, being the rescuer he will not let you drown! The sea gives us food that it did not make, and brings us places that we never wanted to go. The rescuer though brings us to shore, the only place he ever wanted us to go. We falsely thought that our vessels would bring us to shore and to the mountains, but those vessels were made by the sea for the sea only to be at sea, and have no place on land. Ships have no life on land and must stay at sea. Yes I left my ship because the captain would not have me stay. The rescuer assured me though and had me cast into the sea only to bring me out of it. Yes the waves break and crash, but it’s only because they meet the shore and their depths are made shallow. The sea only meets the shore momentarily and then recedes from it. On shore there is great food, food that has no home in the sea. You can walk endlessly with the rescuer and never run out of solid earth under your feet. The wind that carried His voice to us on the sea is much louder here, and the sea can only be heard as the waves crash and break along the shore line. You see me as tossed about, yet I am standing on solid ground and it is your entire vessel that is being tossed about by the sea and obscuring your view.”

The sailor called back vehemently, “You ask us to give up what is certain and what we’ve always known for something that we can not see. How are we to believe in something that only you and the wind tell us about and what we can not see? You are basing what you say on something you believe to have experienced yet the waves scream testimony against you. We have the words of the rescuer when he came to us in his ship on the sea and the thoughts of all the greatest captains ever written in the bowels of our ships. Our greatest captains reconcile them together and make great truths. Yet you ignore what they say and only take His written word and His voice that comes on the wind. The captains have told us that the vessels and sea are what the rescuer gave us to guide us to him. Though they are not exactly as He left them they are all we have. You ask us to give up what he left us. He promised us the heavens as long as we know him. You also ask us to give up what we know, but this is His promise and we will not give it up.”

The man on shore cried out, “He left us one great vessel on a calm sea that had only one destination which was the shore. We left that vessel though and built our own, and through all the extra vessels we stirred up a great storm that only grows worse with each new ship. Yes we all end up in the heavens, that was his promise for hearing and accepting His voice, but He has promised us the shore and valleys and mountains as well. We were all born of the sea, yet did He not want us born of the wind too? We built ships with no sails to catch the wind and so live victim to the sea. So let us abandon ship and follow the wind despite the biggest waves that may come against us. He also promised to never let us drown, and more than that to shelter and feed us. Did He not warn us against other captains? Those captains are subject to the sea no less than their ships are. Leave them and follow the voice on the wind, it will only lead you to shore!”

The man continued to shout but the ship was no longer in range of his voice-

So forgive me for the really long analogy but I found it more entertaining than me just recounting what happened. I very much believe that the theology I have been continuously encouraged to get straight, and that so many people try to reconcile to the things that happen and the things they don’t understand, are the waves of uncertainty that the Word warns us of. Then again I am a “heretical wolf in sheep’s clothing dancing with demons”. In light of my status you should cross yourself, lay hands on your computer, and pray for my soul. I know the Lord, despite what others may think…feel free to pray for my soul anyway though.