Fickle Resolve
The title doesn’t make much sense does it? I’m trying to figure out what it is that I’m seeing and what’s going on around me. We (my close friends and some others) all know very personally what happened with each other last fall semester. We all know for the most part what was going on with us at the beginning of the spring semester, though some knowledge was only second hand. However towards the end of the spring semester and definitely during the beginning of this summer I have no idea what’s going on with the majority of my close friends. Some have moved away, but most are still here.
There seems to be a growing commonwealth of stress and anxiety. Personally I can say for sure. I’ve been confused, stressed, worried, blah blah blah. Apparently many others have as well. I say apparently because I don’t really know for sure. That strikes me as a situation that benefits no one. When I ask my friends about other our other close friends they say they don’t really know. Why?
From what I can tell we all rushed into a battle under a banner of youthful excitement and tripped over a chord of reality. When we looked up our immediate supervisor was still going, not to say he left us but that he stayed the course. However, instead of helping each other up we just limped of in the dark sporadically calling out to each other aimless encouragement while all the while needing more than ever very accurate evangelism (ministry of good news). A squad of privates, even without their lieutenant, may offer each other better protection than any one of them could offer themselves. Not only are they better protected against their common enemy but also against loneliness and fear. Moreover the closer they stay the better protected they will be from being turned against each other.
My problem now is what that looks like. I hate to say it but maybe we need more organization. We don’t get together anymore. Why?
Why don’t we come together anymore? Was there much reason or point behind the first meetings we had? I think we found something good and then stopped doing it. Why?
Encouragement to those who need it:
Remember, though your lieutenant may be no where to be seen, your general knows exactly where you are, and will not leave you. He is the watcher who never sleeps. The church in Corinth, Galatia, Colossae, and Philippi did not always have Paul with them, yet the Lord was confident enough in them to take Paul somewhere else.
Sometimes the Lord really does just want us to wait.
Sometimes the Lord does not act quickly
He does not punish us for sin
He does not punish us for sin
He does not punish us for sin
He does not punish us for sin
He does not punish us for sin
He does not punish us for sin
He does not punish us for sin
He does not punish us for sin
Emotions and sensations are nothing to base faith on
Faith is given freely
His yoke is easy and His burden is light
If we were really as much against His will as we sometimes think we are, He’d let us know
He works all things for the good of those who love Him
All of these things I have to repeat to myself and offer to those who may be in need. Just because we may be naked standing in front of mirrors for all the world to see does not mean we can’t be naked together. Standing naked in front of the mirrors and the world is not “time out” it’s a blessing. We have to be there and will be there until we can remember what we look like when the mirrors are no longer there. No reason not to enjoy it. Right? In the beginning I remember looking to the heavens and crying “why did You do this to me?” He reminded me I asked Him to: “Oh Lord, bring me to a place where I have to need you. Where there is nothing else but You, and give me strength to stand in the midst of hateful world and love them. Let my weakness show and destroy in me all that is not You.” I can only now thank Him, and laugh at myself. If you’ll let me I’ll laugh at/with you too. :-)
1 comment:
hey bud,
I can't tell you how many times those thoughts have run through my head. You know me. You know that this year pretty much sucked in major ways, yet was still full of some major blessings. It's wierd to be where I'm at (Crooked Creek) considering everything that we went through this spring. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I'm going to do. Once again, I don't have a car. That's really going to suck when I have to get a job... especially if I move back to CS. To lack direction, income, passion, trust... I have nothing left. And so, whatever it means now, I'm putting what little faith I have left upon the altar for the Lord. It's not much, but it's what I have. I hope to see compassion. I hope to see love. I hope to see the Lord... to experience Him. I am glad that you wrote what you did. It's true. I don't know what we could have done differently. I don't understand why things happened as they did. There are so many moments from the past few months that leave me only wondering, why? How did we all end up where we are? If my hope is for things unseen, then what am I hoping for? If I lack the armor, then where is it? If I lack the weapons, then where are they? If I lack training, then how do I do it? If I lack wisdom, then Lord, give me more, because scripture says I can ask. May the walls be brought down, the seas traded for dry land. If the Lord is who He says He is, then may we find the peace, the joy, the love, that He promises. I love you bro. I'll give you a call in a few days.
justin
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